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Wednesday, July 29, 2015

untouchable memories that I feel like I can almost remember

I feel like I have untouchable memories that keep calling me making me feel like I can almost remember but just out of reach.

When looking at strangers on the street sometimes I see a face and get the feeling that I should know who they are.

There are times where a stranger will stare at me as if they do know me or give a look as if they feel that they know me and have had strangers think that I'm someone they've known for years.

Children seem to want to be around me almost like they see me as a kid or for some reason feel that they can trust me.

I wish I knew how to get those untouchable memories, I am growing tired of feeling like I can almost remember something that feels like it is just out of reach.

I keep feeling that I am alone given those memories.  I feel like I'm alone in a sea of strangers who think that they know me and would like to know if those untouchable memories are the reason given that I feel like I can almost remember as I dance around life

Friday, January 2, 2015

Confused feelings

I am so confused by my feelings for the two of you

When I look at the two of you I see two individual who are friendly to a fault

When I take the time to think about how the two of you act around me I see people longing to be accepted

When I look into the eyes of both of you I can't help but want to protect you

The two of you seem to be drawn to specific people around you

I am drawn to the two of you in a way that is hard to explain all I know is it feels almost like I want to be there for both of you in any way the both of you need me to be there

Your friendliness that the two of you exude makes me want to be your friend for as you will let me be your friend

I wish I could explain that the two of you don't have to worry about being accepted by me for I have already accepted the both of you for who you are

Friday, October 24, 2014

On the Mountain top

On the Mountain Top
On the mountain top as you are waking you can see the early morning fog settling
In that will become the morning dew

On the mountain top the air smells so fresh and clean that you cannot help but feel refreshed
And energized by it

On the mountain top you feel like you are on top of the world with the view that reaches for
Miles upon miles that seem endless

On the mountain top you can see the fields and meadows for which you can watch the
Animals roam in without having to worry about spooking them

On the mountain top as the afternoon fades into dusk, you see the small wispy clouds that are
A deep pink against the deepening blue sky, they look so close that they look almost
Close enough to reach out and touch them

On the mountain top you take stock in the beauty of all the landscapes you can see around
You on the mountains and the tranquility that being up there provides

On the mountain top as the night sets in you see the stars come out with far more brilliance than
You could have ever imagined anywhere else giving you an endless beauty to look at

On the mountain top as you get ready to settle down you can see the flickering lights of the homes
In the distance come on one by one and in a rhythmic dance

On the mountain top as you are laying there waiting for the slumber to come you feel
Contentment with the subtle noises coming out of the darkness that sounds like a lullaby long
Since forgotten and the brisk night air relaxes you helping to lull you to your nightly slumber
That awaits you after a beautiful day on the mountain top

Trying to retool stories I've written or trying to write

When I write stories usually my characters stay unnamed I don't know why but I am trying to find ways of putting in names for my characters even if it means that I try to write some sort of script just so I can name the characters and try to expand on the stories.

Hopefully I can rewrite something quick enough to post here.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

In memory of my brother Tommy Davis


You always did what you want even if it was something that you shouldn't regardless of what your immediate family did to look out for you.

Health wise you were given the short end of the stick given you health problems early in life and then the health problems that arose after you moved to Hawaii

When we worked together at J. J. Daly you were a good worker and a friend to most people who worked there.

You always tried your best to be friends with everyone and loved kids

Growing up we went on long walks with dad  up to Castle Island and to Downtown Boston/the North End, as you grew into adulthood you continued those long walks with visiting firehouses making friends along the way.  When our niece Heather was old enough to go for walks you would bring her sometimes with her loving those walks.

When it came to me, ma, dad and Danielle you always seemed to ask for opinions on different things and it seemed like you did the exact opposite of what our opinions were.  Most times you seemed to listen to friends but still at times you did the opposite of what they said as well.

We knew that you wanted a family of your own and tried to get you to find someone local but it looked like you either didn't want someone local or that you thought that no one local would want you given that you went way out of your way to bring your ex-wife here and tried to bring another lady to the country even though this time it sounded like a scam.

You made a number of friends the last couple years you were in Hawaii and they looked after you while you were homeless and I am grateful beyond words for that.  In the end we know you considered the people who tried to help you out the most like family, where when we talked to the lady that considered you to be her brother, it sounded like you were a pain in the butt in the same way that you were a pain in the butt when it came to me, ma, dad and Danielle.

I know that you felt that you couldn't move back home to be with us even though we kept pleading with you to come home and know that you felt all alone where you were at times you were almost pleading for either me or dad to visit at times there even though you knew that we couldn't afford to come visit.

I wish we could have talked more than we did and could have seen each other again.  I never once thought that the day I seen you off at South Station in March or April of 2008 would be the last time I saw you in person and now wish that I had gotten a picture with you on that day and wish that you had never left.

regardless of how much of a pain in the butt you were at times you were still a good person and didn't deserve to end up leaving this world the way you did.

I hope that you are able to walk with no problems and have your full hearing back.

May you Rest in Peace.

Thank you for the time we had together Thomas James Davis, January 23, 1970 to September 5, 2014

Sunday, October 20, 2013

its been a while and hope to get back to writing

Due to being preoccupied, writing it hasn't been on my mind

Writing is something that use to always help me unwind

I want so badly to write but my thoughts have been so jumbled over the last few months

I wish I could settle my mind so I could focus on what I want to write and say

I hope that I can get something down on paper soon

I wish I may I wish I might sit and write.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Tragedy in our Darkest days

Tragedy in our Darkest days

In the darkest of days we find ourselves in what we think is an overwhelming sense of being helpless and of being full of hopelessness.

When we feel lost from the trying days that are among the darkest we don’t always see the angels around us and in turn the angels will make themselves known to us when we need them the most.

Through the tragedy, we just want to lose ourselves but those who we need the most will be guided to us by the angels that are watching over us in our time of need so we can find ourselves.

As the darkest of days wears on and we press on in the hopes for a brighter day, we can’t help but want to give up at times, but we don’t due to the angels whispering in our ears you can make it, you’ve got us angels to help you, to guide you and to show you that there is a brighter day out there.

As we question ourselves and our beliefs, those we have lost in our darkest of days through tragedy, come to us at our darkest moments to let us know that they are there watching over us by whispering in our ears saying I am here to comfort you the way you always comforted me and by giving you a kiss on the cheek when needed to show that they still feel the love you have for them and the hands on the shoulders you need the touch of a loved one saying I’ve got your back.

Through the tragedy we find solace in the words and actions of those around us that do the work of the angels who sent them while those angels lift our thoughts and our prayers up to God as he welcomes home those that we have lost to tragedy so that they will be ready to show us that they never really left us while waiting for us to come home to Heaven so we can be reunited someday.

As we feel those that we have lost, we also hear them say we will be together again someday and I am in the arms of an angel who will guide me home so I can watch over you as you have watched over me. 

Monday, November 5, 2012


In times where things are as we would like them we never forget our struggles

In times where we go on with our day to day lives we get complacent to the point we
take what we have for granted and think that we no longer have to struggle

In our complacency we tend not to see other peoples struggles 

It is not until our own lives are upended that we remember our own struggles and get mad 
at ourselves for having allowed ourselves to forget our own pain

It is not until our own lives are upended that we remember the help we got in our struggles and those who where there for us during those struggles

Only during our own struggles to we fully realize that we are not only measured by our own struggles but also measured by what we can do for and how we treat others who can do nothing for you where that is only when we can truly understand the struggles of others

Thursday, October 6, 2011

On a stormy night in early October

On a stormy night in early October, a shadow crept up through the window of the bedroom. As the wind picked up it sounded like someone was going rat a tat-tat on the window where the shadow grew long.

With the wind picked up it sounded like it someone was knocking like crazy with the rat a tat-tat with a lot of force. After a little while the wind started to howl with the ferocity that it whipping around that almost sounded like someone just outside the window that was struggling to be heard.

The person in the room, slowly trying to gather the courage to see what was out at the window, hid under the covers shivering with fear, wishing that someone would come in and whisper that everything would be alright. Slowly she got the courage to slide off of the bed onto the floor and slowly crawled over to the window.

As she crawled over to the window, she noticed that the shadow was not as big as she had thought but the howling wind was worse then ever and the rat a tat-tat on the window was almost non stop. When she got to the window she slowly got up first easing herself up onto her shadow box that she regularly used as a bench to perch herself on as she looked out the window, trembling in fear from not knowing what was out there.

As she unlatched her windows they flung open letting in the wind and a whole mess load of leaves that had come loose from the trees. As the wind gusted even harder she, seen something blow towards her forcing her to duck and as she ducked she let out a loud gasp and scream of fright. When she turned back towards the window she, seen that something and it looked like it was trying to come in.

She then did her best to crawl back to her bed so she could turn on the lamp on her night stand and as she turned on the light she heard a loud cracking sound. As she was listening to the cracking she, seen that something coming thru the window even further and she quickly turned on the light to see what that something was.

When she turned on the light she let out a loud gasp that was a mix of fright and surprise for that something that had been going rat a tat-tat was just a that large branch that she had seen earlier that day that had started to lean as if it were going to break off from the tree nearest to her house.

After she calmed down she realized that it must have started to come off the tree as the wind picked up and had gotten close enough to her window to start tapping on the window with the wind and was relieved to know that the cracking she heard was actually the branch starting to come free from the tree.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

In Memorium



We cannot let ourselves forget the lives that were lost on that fateful day. Our way of life was changed that day when almost three thousand people died. We need to memorialize those that were lost on that day to help ease the pain of the great loss of innocent life.

We also need to honor those who we regard as heroes that died who if were able to talk would say that they were simply doing their job like they have done like any other day. They need to be honored in ways that reflect our desire not to let them have died in vane.

Those that were lost, their names forever will be whispered on the winds and will not have died in vane as long as we do fear those who would want to scare us into cowering by attacking us from the shadows.

Those who ran in to save people and paid the ultimate price need to be revered by making sure that everyone knows that a great many more people could have and would have died if it wasn't for the first responders.

Where there were hundreds of people from all over the world in the towers when they came down that day, it is not just an American tragedy, it is a world tragedy where many died thousands of miles away from their families and the places they called home with their families not being able to do anything to find their loved ones or to help those people that their loved ones called friends and today may still not have closure.

The last tragedy that the U.S. has had to deal with anywhere close to this magnitude is Pearl Harbor which brought WWII home for us and both events will forever live in infamy.

Like when John F. Kennedy was shot the one question that will be asked of those who were alive when the towers fell will be where were you when it happened.

With all the questions that have been asked the one that stays with me is the one my niece who turned seven that day which was "Why did those bad people kill all those people on my birthday?"

Monday, June 13, 2011

How do you deal with the hurt

How do we know who's telling the truth,

about themselves when everyone is acting
like they are chicken little with their personal
lives while expecting others around them
to be truthful with their personal lives.
When do we know that the actions taken
are not a reflection of what is being said
When the two contradict each other to the
Point out that the individual can not be
trusted to show the real person.
How does one deal with having someone
who has said that they are your friend
come out and say that they never did what
you know for a fact that they did in a way

That indicates that they are unwilling to
admit that they said and did things that
made them appear in a way that he doesn't
want to be seen in?

When do you know when a person's contradicts
are designed to hide something from specific
people or trying to keep from dealing with what
he or she is hiding?

How does one deal with the contradictions when
there is evidence that backs up what has been
done and the individual would rather ruin a
friendship than admit to having done what the
evidence shows?

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